2007-01-06 [Kiddalee]: Fortunately, one of the teenagers knew the secret!

2007-01-06 [Mister Saint]: Unfortunately, that teenager was also a mute.

2007-01-06 [Kiddalee]: Fortunately, that teenager was also psychic enough to tell the adult to cope with his dang problem and git singin' his dang song!

2007-01-06 [Samael_22]: Unfortunately, the zombie was prepared for this and waited intently to eat the adult.

2007-01-06 [Mister Saint]: Fortunately, when the adult began singing, his song turned out to be a bar room fight song, which incited an impromptu mosh pit that kept the zombie up on teenage shoulders.

2007-01-06 [Kiddalee]: Unfortunately, all this bouncing around caused the zombie to disentegrate all over the teenagers and make a huge mess.

2007-01-06 [iippo]: Fortunately, all those teenagers were part-time cleaners in Wal-Marts and knew how to handle an emergency like this.

2007-01-06 [Mister Saint]: Unfortunately, they'd only ever been able to test their zombie-mess-cleaning on their company's executives, never normal people.

2007-01-09 [Kiddalee]: Fortunately, this zombie had not been a Wal-Mart executive, and therefore was not composed of hazardous waste.

2007-01-09 [Anninja]: Unfortunately, there were two Wal-Mart executives around when the zombie blew up, and they blew up, too.

2007-01-09 [Mister Saint]: Fortunately, they were Wal-Mart executives when they blew up. People cheered.

2007-01-09 [Samael_22]: Unfortunately, this caused a chain reaction across the world, where all Wal-Mart executives blew up, and the store had to close down.

2007-01-11 [iippo]: Fortunately, before it closed down, all the products in the stores were given to the poor, which helped them in very many ways.

2007-01-11 [Mister Saint]: Unfortunately, the empty stores became strongholds for various C-rank supervillains across the world. DC Comics was swiftly put out of business, as most of its bad-guy collection appeared in reality.

2007-01-16 [Samael_22]: Fortunately, this also enabled most of the good-guy collection from DC comics to appear in reality.

2007-01-16 [iippo]: Unfortunately, the reality-versions of the characters differed somewhat from the comic book versions: the villains were nowhere near as cool as in the comics and the heroes were all more interested in getting laid than kicking ass.

2007-01-16 [Kiddalee]: Fortunately, the Marvel comic heroes had already been in reality long enough, that the appearance of the DC villians and the poor competition of the DC heroes gave them lots of jobs.

2007-01-16 [Mister Saint]: Unfortunately, despite DC's endless lines of suckitude, it still had Batman, and thus, was nigh-unstoppable.

2007-01-16 [Kiddalee]: Fortunately, there had already been enough Marvel vs DC fights, that the two groups of heroes had had enough of that and decided not to bother each other.

2007-01-17 [iippo]: Unfortunately, this didn't apply to the villains who did battle each other.

2007-01-18 [Samael_22]: Fortunately, this didn't go well with Hell, and Spawn was born to attempt to end the battle with the villains.